I work in the finance department of a large pharmaceutical company. I have worked here for almost eight months. I have great relationships with my colleagues and am well respected by those I work with. At least, that's what I thought.

Today my boss asked me into his office for my annual performance review. This is what he said (be warned: it gets pretty nasty!)...

Natasha, you are doing generally very well and I think you're taking to the role quickly. Your account reconciliations skills are fairly strong, especially given some of the legacy systems we have floating around this place. They can be tricky to pick up.

However, if I had to point out one area of improvement - and I do, because that's how we all get better, right? [at this point he smiles at me!!] - I would just suggest that you let the other members of your team know if you have capacity so that you all share the work more evenly on a week-to-week basis.

That's not to say you don't do this already, but it's something I'm asking everybody to keep in mind moving forward.

It took me a little while to respond as I've been busy talking with the Fair Work Ombudsman and my legal advisor, but here goes:

Dear Mr Employer

Thank you for your feedback. I have considered it carefully... and I quit.

A balding, overweight, middle-aged Caucasian man has NO RIGHT to tell ME how to do MY job.

For almost a year I quietly went about my daily business alongside a handful of other finance professionals - many of whom were women. Only now has it occurred to me that my boss - a presumably HETEROSEXUAL presumably MARRIED MAN - was systematically hiring women, USING them for work and degrading them on a regular basis with these archaic "performance reviews".

By the way, let me just point out that the structure of your reviews is inherently sexist: you have a man essentially ejaculating feedback onto a woman, who is in no position to provide similar criticism to the man.

None of the decent, hard-working women that I called colleagues were ever given the standing or the opportunity to fire you.

A short animated film I saw on the Internet the other day described a circumstance where a woman was not able to say no to an offer of tea from a man. The film indicated that if the man proceeded to provide said tea, the situation would be tantamount to rape. Well, none of the women I worked with could have refused our boss's invitation to attend the performance review. Why don't you let that sink in for a while…

You are a perverted little man who thinks he can get away with anything because he's the boss. You couldn't be more wrong. I have spoken to my friends and they were appalled and embarrassed to hear what you said to me.

How dare you suggest that there are areas of my job needing improvement? I don't tell you how to do your job. That's your business.

You know, I'm going to be honest here and admit that there is a part of me - a remnant of the awkward little 14-year-old me - who thinks she's not good enough, and for a brief moment believed that my performance required improvement. I was actually giving some thought to going back to work and applying myself with increased fervour!

Fuck you. Fuck you for making me regress to that shameful part of my life, where I felt it necessary to make excuses for just being me.

I’m not great at my job. I'm lazy and that's why I don't let my colleagues know when I have capacity. I prefer to go on Facebook and read articles written in list form. That's who I am and I won't be made to apologise for it.

Fuck.

You.

13 Comments

Comments on this article have been closed.

Share this

Follow ThermoCow

Read next

Nigerian Prince: Origins

Go back to where it all began.