Welcome back to the seventh instalment in our guide to making a living as a writer by running a website teaching other people how to make a living as a writer. If this is your first visit to the site, or if you have some time to kill and nothing better to do, then you’ll probably want to start at the beginning, with How To Make A Living As A Writer Part 1. Once you’ve read that, check out How To Make A Living As A Writer Part 2: Know Your Audience. And then, cast your eyes over How To Make A Living As A Writer Part 3: Build A Strong And Consistent Brand. Having read all of those, you’ll be ready to consume How To Make A Living As A Writer Part 4 and How To Make A Living As A Writer Part 5: The Best Resources On The Web. At this point, you’ll be like “There’s no way I could read any more of this crap, and honestly, who in their right mind would keep writing it?” That’s when you should read How To Make A Living As A Writer Part 6: How To Overcome Writer’s Block. Then, and only then, you will be ready to read the rest of this article.
Articles about how to find an agent are immensely popular, and for good reason. Lots of people want to know how to find an agent, and no one can answer the question. Therefore, there are as many answers as there are people! This basically guarantees that any article you write on the subject will attract visits to the site, because there is simply no end to the amount of information a person can consume about how to find an agent, until they have actually found an agent.
But my approach is different. I say: you don’t need an agent! If you want to make a living as a writer, all you need is a website that teaches other people how to make a living as a writer. Google is your agent. Without trying, you’ll be picked up by other websites teaching people how to make a living as a writer, because aside from repetitive content (like the crap you’re reading right now) the main purpose of these websites is to direct you to other, similar websites. If an aspiring writer browses for long enough, they will feel a sense of accomplishment.
Of course, just because you don’t need an agent, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend an inordinate amount of your time discussing how to find an agent. What do agents want? How should you query them? What colour socks should you wear while browsing their website? You can pretty much write anything about literary agents, and people will read it. Many will believe it, too. So for instance, I can say that all queries to agents in New York City should begin with the line “HAIL TO MIGHTY THRANG-HAMMOCK, LORD OF LITERATURE AND DISEMBOWELER OF AGNOSTIC GAME FOWL”. This will show the agent that you are professional, without coming across too strong or wasting their time. But never use Times New Roman in your queries - that font is for manuscripts only (you know the difference, right?)
Join us next week as we take a look at the best software for writing, and the week after that for a look at how to set up your perfect writing space, and the week after that for a poorly-researched “lesson” on pronouns or adverbs or something.
